I often get asked, "How is Griffin sleeping?" For once, I'm able to answer that sleep is going well and continues to improve. When people asked what changed or how we are accomplishing this, I tell them we've been doing sleep training. 9 times out of 10 I get a puzzled look in response or get asked what this is. So, I thought sharing my experience down our sleep training road might help a few people, or at the very least inform them.
I feel like I've read every sleep book there is. In reality, there are many more I could pore over, but after reading quite a few, I decided to not follow any particular one and make my own sleep plan. Griffin was about 5 and a half months when I created our plan. This came as a result of 3+ months of poor sleep and it was only getting worse. When Griffin used to be up every 2 hours, I longed for stretches of 3 or 4 hours. In time, these 2 hour stretches progressively became shorter and shorter until we would only get a 2 hour stretch on a good night, but more often he would be up every hour, half hour, or would wake up as soon as I set him back in his crib. Rocking and bouncing him to sleep was becoming increasingly difficult and this just wasn't working for anyone anymore. I was exhausted and started taking it out on Riley, Griffin was cranky and fussy most of the time. Riley and I both felt helpless. So I went in search of yet another book that might answer my sleep prayers. Like I said before, I wasn't able to find any one particular book that had the answers. However, I was able to make my own plan that I hoped would work for us and for Griffin.
We decided to start working on getting Griffin to fall asleep on his own at bedtime only. The first night we did our bedtime routine as usual, put him in his crib awake but drowsy and left the room. He started crying after a few minutes and we let him cry for 5 minutes before we went in to try to soothe him. The rule was that you could rub his back, talk to him, pat him, and shush him, but you couldn't pick him up and you had to leave the room after a minute. He cried for 25 minutes before he fell asleep. He slept for 2 hours and the rest of the night went downhill from there. However, this was progress because typically he would wake up after half an hour of being in bed. One of the things that most of the books I read had in common was that they stated the second night would most likely be worse than the first night. And it was. The second night, Griffin cried for nearly an hour. The rest of the night was similar to the first in that he slept for about 2 hours before being up every hour or half hour through the rest of the night. Each night after this though, the time he cried lessened and the time he slept lengthened. About a week after working on only bedtime in this way, having Griffin self-soothe to sleep, he was sleeping for 2 or 3 hour stretches throughout the night, and I got up to nurse him whenever he woke. Most nights he cried for about 15 minutes before falling asleep, although the occasional night was longer than this.
From there, we decided to start working on having him self-soothe throughout the night as well. He was nursing every 3 hours during the day, so we decided that it was reasonable to feed him every 3 hours through the night as well. If he woke up before the 3 hour mark, we used the same strategy - 5, 10, 15 minutes - soothe but don't pick up. We didn't have to do this long before he was consistently sleeping for 3 hour stretches. After a few days of this continued success, we decided to tackle naps. It didn't take long for him to catch on, and he rarely cried longer than 10-15 minutes before falling asleep for naps or bedtime.
Now we are about a month and a half in, and we occasionally get a stretch of 4, 5, 6, or even 7 hours (although 7 has only happened once). Naps are consistently 40-45 minutes long, and most often closer to an hour or an hour and a half. Overall, the result has been a well rested and happy baby, a mom who is no longer a sleep-deprived zombie, and a general feeling of happiness in our household. Sleep training may not be for everyone, but it worked for us and I'm so thankful it did!
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